Not all control is visible. Coercive control is a complex type of abuse that can be very hard to identify let alone speak about. The damage does not always leave physical scars, still the long term consequences are devastating. As Rebecca Goshawk, Director at Solace says,
“Not all scars are visible: coercive control can have a life-long impact on a woman’s sense of self, their mental health and future relationships…”
Shockingly 75% of coercive abuse cases happen in a close relationship. Despite becoming a criminal offence in 2015, more needs to be done to pull back the curtains. Moreover, putting a spotlight on this silent abuse encourages victims to come forward and get the support they need.
Understanding what constitutes coercive control empowers you with the knowledge to speak up and put a stop to it.
What Is Coercive Control?
Coercive control is a silent monster, it can be subtle, quiet and often happens in private. However, the level of fear and disruption it causes victims is very real. The bullying behaviour takes place over time. Henceforth, crushing confidence, removing independence and isolating you from friends and family.
These are some of the most common types of coercive control in relationships;
Controlling Finances
Removing your financial independence is one way an abuser gains control over their victims. This can be by taking your money, controlling access to joint accounts or stopping you from working. The less independence you have the more dependent on them you become. Finally, making it easier for them to make your world smaller and reaching out harder.
Cutting Off Support
Preventing access to support whether from family, friends or even work colleagues can be another tactic of abusers. This stops you having an outlet to talk about what is going on and realise it is not right. They may track your phone making you feel scared and unable to visit or contact the people you know can help you.
Emotional & Verbal Abuse
Abusers often want to shatter your self-worth and confidence. They can do this through a viscous mix of emotional and verbal abuse. The less you believe in yourself the easier it is for them to trap you in their world. They may humiliate, criticise and put you down at every opportunity till it becomes the norm.
Threats
Another tactic that stops victims from coming forward is cold threats. Telling you if you tell a friend what is going on they will harm you in some way. No threat is ever ok. However, when you are a victim it is hard to gather the strength and courage to ignore it and get support.
How Can You Get Support For Coercive Control?
If you are experiencing coercive control there are many ways to get support. Understandably, speaking to a family or friend does not always seem safe or possible. Charities like Solace work hard to provide a safe space for women to open up and get back control.
DIrector Rebecca says;
“We know from our work with thousands of women every year that coercive control can be difficult to recognise, and even harder to prove. That’s why it’s so important that everyone understands the severity of this form of abuse and what to do if they or someone they know experiences it.”
Their incredible team is a call away to help you feel stronger, safer and lead you to the next steps. Reaching out to a family lawyer like one of the team members at Waterstone Legal can provide you with options on getting protective measures in place. These can include injunctions, occupation orders and child arrangement orders. Every situation is different. Therefore, an experienced solicitor will approach your case delicately and strategically to ensure you are protected.
Together We Are Stronger
As part of our pro-active approach to supporting those experiencing domestic violence, we are delighted to be partnering with Solace. We are embarking on a 5k walk on March 14th 2026 to raise awareness for domestic abuse. Solace works hard to protect victims and their work has made a huge impact on the lives of many women. All donations are greatly appreciated, going towards making the world a safer, softer place.
Please check the event details here.
We would love to invite you to walk with us towards positive change. To join us you can RSVP here. Alternatively, you can sponsor our walk by donating. On behalf of everyone at Waterstone Legal and Solace we want to thank you for your kindness and support in helping those who need it.
